I've been feeling blindfolded lately- like I don't know where I'm going or what I'm doing or where it's going to take me. I don't know what I'm doing here anymore; I don't see why I'm doing the things that I'm doing and I don't understand why people only long for what they can't have. I spent all of my time wishing that I could leave the place that I was and now all I want to do is go back.
Why do things have to change? If you find a good place in your life why can't it just stay that way? Or do we only realize that it's good after we've left it?
I don't know what's right anymore. Actually, is there any such thing?
I love being here; I do. I love having the ability to drop everything and go to London for the weekend. But I can't help but wonder...is everyone I meet and everything I do only going to amount to impermanence? Temporariness? Life is transitory enough, I don't need to add any more ephemerality to the equation. When all the romantic notions about wanderlust have worn off... how much significance can week-end acquaintances really have? What happens when you reach the point where you really need someone? A shoulder to cry on? And what happens when you realize that everyone you care about is half a world away?
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